Sunday, July 03, 2011

Peer Pressure and its Effects on all Ages…

It is said that “Birds of a feather flock together”, meaning that those of the same mindset, behaviors and morals tend to occupy the same circle. That may seem innocent enough but not always is that an innocent statement or an easy one to live with.

It is natural to want to fit in and belong but at what expense should one want to be a part of something or some group or individual? Should it cost you your identity or reputation or even or spiritual welfare? Peer pressure is not just a childhood issue, even adult’s battle pressures amongst their peers at work, home and other social connections. Why is this?

For the most part we fear the unknown and what is different from us. We want conformity and we want everyone to conform to our own ways, thinking and standards. For some it gives them a feeling of importance and others it makes me feel not so alone in their own life style and or habits that they set for themselves.

What damages can peer pressure cause?

Peer pressure can be the root cause of someone’s moral standards no longer existing. It can be the root of all problems between parents and children because the child decides to follow what their peers wish than what the parent’s standards or rules. For example, a mother directs her son/daughter to be home directly after school, but, the child’s friends convince him/her that it is okay for him/her to play with them at their home before they head home. Even though knowing what that child’s parent instructed that child to do, he/she chose to follow the suggestion of their friends. Most likely so that they do not cause a rif and that child’s friend possible be upset with them for not playing with them. However, the child does not keep tract of time and hi/her parent arrives home and they are not home. The parent not aware of where their child is begins to worry about him and her and is searching the neighborhood. Even though the parent finds their child safe playing, that trust has been severed some and now there is a break in that bond between parent and child.

Another example, is of a woman out having a lunch dates with some friends. The ladies decide that after they have lunch they would go on a shopping spree because there is a special sale at the mall. Now one of the ladies is hesitant about going because she knows that she and her husband do not have the extra money at this time for such expenditure. She declines to go shopping and proceeds to explain why. Another one of the ladies is quick to say; oh it’s just another $20 or $40 that we will be spending. That is not that much and you can get some great buys that is normally $90 apiece. Just treat yourself some. And so she goes shopping. A few weeks later when her husband is budgeting the checkbook notices the charges at a store in the mall. When he asks his wife about the charges, she attempts to explain it the way her friend did. But her husband was not going for that explanation. That $40 that she spent may have gotten her 3 shirts and a purse which normally would add up to $120.00 but that $40 was part of the gas bill and now they were short making the bills for the month. Her husband now decides to not trust her with the checkbook or debit cards; and proceeded to give her cash as needed. Here is another example of trust broken.

I may have only used woman or child in these examples but peer pressure also affects men as well. They have the same pressures that women and child and sometimes more.

Who does peer pressure affect?

Initially peer pressure really is affecting the individual that is choosing to following pressure layed before them. reason I say this is because they are giving up their own identity, ability to reason and make decision and entrusting that into someone else’s hands and hope that they are gently and not to crush their spirit. An individual crushed their own self esteem by depending on the thoughts and concern of others and not trusting in their ability to make wise decisions.

Secondly, it affects the relationships between parents and children, spouses. Another area it can affect that we may not even think about is how on-lookers my see you if they realize that you are allowing peer pressure to guide you. Some may take advantage and pile more pressure upon, others may have no respect for you.

One’s name and reputation is on the line when allowing self to be guided by peer pressure. Wouldn’t you rather be judged for your own decisions based upon your own standards and morals and not someone else’s?

Where do you turn to when peer pressure takes a toll on you?

1Peter4:4 says “Because YOU do not continue running with them in this course to the same low sink of debauchery, they are puzzled and go on speaking abusively of YOU.”

Our parents, spouses and other close relatives can be a source of encouragement and soul refreshment when facing pressure from others to conform to their ways of thinking and or habits etc. We can also seek out advise from our Heavenly father for guidance and wisdom.

Moses comes to mind when thinking about peer pressure. He was the son of the daughter of the king. He held a high position already within the community and had access to power and to riches. But because his heart and mind was dedicated to the worship of God and the deliverance of his people from the hands of Egypt he left all that behind. (Hebrews 11:24, 25) I am not saying to walk away from life or, employment but to stay true to what your mind and heart sincerely believe and want.

Remain true to one’s self and feel your soul smile and your heart rejoice….

Tuesday, March 29, 2011